B B A L L B O Y .

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Saturday

I'm liking Teens service worship more and more. Every week, I go back with the spirit of music imbued inside me. I hum a tune as I walk, I sing a song as I stroll. That is of course, when no one's around ^^.

This week's message was another impactful one as well. It was about Chasing your dreams. Just as a song we sang, "We will shine like stars above, as we're burning like the sun". This relit a fire in my heart I feared I was losing. The fire, the craving for knowledge, for truth, for God's Word. My dreams. It relit them all, and it made me realize that no matter what we are all destined to shine like stars above. Our roles on this earth, is to so let our light shine before men. I forgot which verse it was, but it came to my head. So what is your light =)?

When I got home, I watched a video Jeredy showed to me last night. It's entitled "God's Chisel". It really hit home. I used to think that I wasn't worthy enough for God, that I did things no one can forgive, that I can never be good, and that I'm just junk trying to be a masterpiece. This video, well, it changed my perception about EVERYTHING. I highly recommend everyone to see it, Christians and non-Christians alike.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY

Today

I'm kinda disappointed with myself. I woke up "earlier" so that I could reach church on time, but I rolled around a good 10minutes before I finally got up, showered and left for church. I was late, of course, but I was kinda relieved that I didnt miss the sermon *again*.

The thing is, the only things that disappoint me nowadays are the things that I do to myself. It's never what happens to me, what people do to me, what people say of me, what I say of myself. It is always I who disappoints me. I slept during *most* of the sermon, and I actually had the gall to tell myself that "at least I'm awake for an important part of it". How arrogant, lazy, and egotistical of me. Firstly, I thought less of someone's testimony. Someone is on the stage, bearing her heart out, telling her story, and there I am, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep, thinking that I won't learn anything listening to her story. How arrogant. How un-humble. Lol. Secondly, I slept through most of the sermon, waking up in different periods. I could've stayed awake, but no. I went right back to sleep. How lazy. And then, I still said at least I stayed up for an important part. Who am I to judge one's testimony whether they're important or not? How egotistical.

As such, I disappointed myself immensely today. After service ended, they sang shine like stars. What I did? It was extremely selfish. How was I to shine like a star if I were to do selfish things? I sat down, and prayed. Some things have to change. My laziness, my pride. They have to be broken down. And I thank God for showing my sins to me, and showing me how i can repent.

Everyone sat down and chatted for a while, then left to the MRT to go to City hall for lunch. I didn't join them. To be honest, I had no mood. I just wanted to be by myself and think.

I need to be more disciplined, more assertive to myself. When I'm slacking I can tell myself NO and start doing something productive. When I'm struggling to wake up I can tell myself PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR YOU and get out of bed, slap myself silly.

With God's Chisel, we can all become the masterpieces that he originally crafted us to be. It won't be easy, allowing God to chisel away all the extra baggage in our life while our natural reaction would be to want to control our life. But God, please, I want to be what you want me to be, with all my heart and spirit. So chisel away, until I become your original masterpiece. I want to shine like stars above. I want to let my light so shine before men, and let your name be glorified.

"We are all God's original masterpieces. Because God doesn't make junk." - TheSkitGuys

I highly implore all of you to check out the video =)

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
5:24 PM

Friday, June 26, 2009

I wanted to blog as early as I can before I forget what awesomeness Thursday has happened to me. Haha. this is as early as I got, and I am EXHAUSTED. =p. We went to Sentosa on Thursday. I went to school for project, which I didn't finish, and met John at Harbourfront. Grace, Angela, Euger, and alot more came eventually, and we left for sentosa. Me and John took lots of pictures, downright refusing to get into the water. I *tried* to dig a hole. We left at dinnertime, went back to harbourfront where we ordered takeaway and brought it to the ampitheatre at the roof top, ate, and played games =D. Haha =D. The photos will come eventually. I am really tired now lol. I gotta head to bed. More elaboration to come later on!

EDIT: Apparently, my younger brother threw away the camera box, which probably contained the Camera cable, so the photos would have to wait. And he can't find his SD card reader as well. Lol. Guess my *short* elaboration would have to do? Haha =D.

We went to Sentosa, got lost for a moment as we mistook siloso beach for palawan beach, but we got there eventually =p. It was HOT. Like, SCALDING HOT. Feet couldn't take it. Wanted to try some beachvolleyball tricks, but oh well. Lol.

I hate seawater. Clean seawater still can, but seawater like here at Sentosa? Ew =p. Lol. As such, since cant play volleyball due to the blistering heat, I decided to dig a hole. To try to bury someone in it. But I never got that far. The hole me and John and Euger dug was barely shin length deep. And it wasnt that long or wide either. It was just a hole.

We cooled off with slurpees. Lol. We then took our cameras and went off taking random pictures and of them playing in the water. Haha. They played captain's ball I think. We were done at about 6? We took more pictures, and everyone went off to wash up. We reached Harbourfront at about 730? We gathered for a while, then dispersed to dapao food to the ampitheatre. Some went hawker center, some went Long John silvers, me and john went burger King. LOL. We did not have it our way, completely, at all.

So we dined at the ampitheatre. Our seven incher burger was but like a mere 5-6incher? WE DID NOT HAVE IT OUR WAY. As soon as everyone finished eating, games and conversation started. Apparently, John is a Whose Line fan as well =D. Aw yeah. We watched vids of it before Cher Young gathered everyone for random games lol. We played chucky chucky and niu nai. Haha =D. I was the winner of Niu Nai ONCE. =DDDDDDDDDDDD. Ask me personally what the game is next time and I'll be glad to show you =D. Muahahahahahhaha.

Our night ended after the games ended. Everyone went to the MRT, and bid their farewells. It was a day to remember =). I don't remember having this much fun in a whole WEEK. Swimming and gym, and sentosa outing. AWESOME.

And looks like my elaboration got really really really really really really lazy. Oh well. =D. I find that talking about my day can be a tad monotonous tho =X.

Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing."~ Zig Ziglar

I thank you, my friends, for being my friends =). Ivan, please don't lose your way =).

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
1:37 AM

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Yesterday was an awesome day. Went to some place near Sengkang through the LRT (lol), to gym and swimming at a swim park with Alicia and Cher Ying! Edmund and his friend joined us later on. The gym there was pretty awesome, might be going there another time =p. Heh.

The swim park is really spectacular lol, aside from the *slightly* murky water in the sheltered pool. The only thing the park is missing is a lazy pool, like the one at Wild Wild Wet =p. Just lying there, and floating around the whole park. Nothing else like it. Haha. The slides were praiseworthy as well. Though I did hurt my lower back during one of the slides =p. Stupid bumps ==". The twister slide is nothing I ever experienced before, double jump lol. Haha =D.

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. Maybe it's cause today overtook the most recent memory of having alot of fun =p. Haha. I hope that at the end of my life(touch wood), I'll be able to review all the times in my life where I had the most fun =p. Now that would be pretty awesome =).

daedal \DEE-duhl\adjective:
1. Complex or ingenious in form or function; intricate.
2. Skillful; artistic; ingenious.
3. Rich; adorned with many things.

This is a pretty interesting word. I think I'm incorporating it into my daily word usage. Haha. My mind works in a very daedal way =D.

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."~ Eleanor Roosevelt

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination.For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness.Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one."~ Souza

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
11:12 AM

Sunday, June 21, 2009

I think the sin that afflicts me most is laziness. I simple cannot wake up early everyday, as much as I want to make it a habit. I always tend to just enjoy the feeling of having just woken up, lying on my bed, enjoying the morning, and then falling right back to sleep again. As awesome a feeling as it is, that must change. They say that people who can't wake up in the morning are people who don't have anything to look forward to in their days. And I feel, that's pretty sad. I have things to look forward to, things that I love, so by right I should be able to wake up. And I will, tml =). haha. I was listening to this song as I rushed to Church this morning, and it really hit the nail on the head. It's "I wanna Live" by Stellar Kart.

Sometimes all I try to do

Is maybe sleep til noon

And now I’m thinking

Less is more more

Will I ever get out,

Out the door

What’s the point anyway

Another meaningless day

Is there any reason

Why I shouldn’t waste

All my time

[Pre-Chorus]

I need a change of scenery

Unlock the door and

Set me free

[Chorus]

I wanna live like today

Could be my last day

To give all I have

Before it’s too late

Goodbye to all the

Fear and doubt ‘cause this

Love is what life is all about

Sometimes I lie awake at night

Playing back my whole life

If the way I see this world

Could change

All the differences would fade

I’m gonna play it out again

When I hear your voice

I’ll take your hand

I’ll try to change what I’ve become

And love like Jesus does

[Pre-chorus]
[Chorus]

I really do sometimes sleep till noon just to see if I could do it. Now I feel doing that is just wasting one meaningless day after another. If let's say I make it a habit to sleep at 10, 11 pm and wake up at 8, 9 am everyday, life would be so much better, healthier and more meaningful. "And now I'm thinking less is more." I truly agree with this. To me, this means that less sleep, would mean a more meaningful day. I slept at 2am the night before. I told myself to wake up at 8am or 9am today so that I can make it in time for church, but in the end, I rolled around in the morning once i woke up at 815, and found myself waking up at 1130 and rushing to church. I sacrificed two hours worth of what could be a meaningful sermon for more sleep? Now that I play it back like that, boy, I'm pathetic.

My last post was about changing everything I feared I had become. I had lost the enthusiasm to live like everyday was my last day, to live life with no regrets, to just do what I want to do and be happy with it. And now, thanks to this song, I think I gained it back.

The last paragraph I put "I think" in the paragraph on purpose. Haha. Because, if I live life doing what I want to do, it would be a very chaotic life. Haha. I want to live like everyday is my last day, and live everyday with righteousness, going to bed everyday knowing, that what I've done today is the right thing to have been done, whether it makes me feel awful or not. I want to live life doing the right thing. I remembered I lived life like that in Sec2, always trying my very best to do the right thing, whether it made me feel horrible afterwards because of my own emotions or not. And in sec2, I lived life feeling horrible and emo most of the time. But at least in sec2, I had lived life according to my own principles. Going through sec3 and sec4, I know, I had lost my way. And now at the age of 17, I have found back a new way. A life of righteousness, a life of goodness, a christian life =). And I feel great living it =).

PS I was late to church today. My timing was spectacular. I reached there at the same time the sermon ended.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:23 PM

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I have never realized until today that I had become everything I thought I wasn't and feared to become. I am selfish, I am cold, I am perverted, I am ungentlemanly, I am egotistic, I am arrogant, I am lazy. Well, thanks to today's service, I know that now. And all that will change.

PS I think "Who Let The Dogs Out" by the Baha Men has got to be the manliest song ever. The guys singing it sound like they're having so much fun! "WHO! LET THE DOGS OUT?! WHO?! WHO!? WHO WHO, WHO! WHO~ LET THE DOGS~ OUT?! WHO!? WHO?! WHO WHO WHO!"
Man. I want to assemble a choir, and make them sing it. lol. Just fo kicks.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
10:36 PM

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The creator for spiderman just has not friggin sympathy. I count like what, 5 villains after him? Let's not forget some other villains of his, like Mysterio and Sandman. Spiderman is only a teenager, geez! And SOMEHOW, his emoness and depression comes from being worried that Mary Jane doesnt like him. How in the world does that happen? He has like 7 murderors after him, and he's letting his pubescent hormones control him? He did a better job with the alien symbiote on Venom. Lol. With great power, comes great responsibility I guess.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:59 PM

Monday, June 15, 2009

This is me and zhenghou. We were jumping into random photos our friends were taken. Totally random lol. We finally got a photo to ourselves. I was planning to stab the two people in front of me with cutlery, zhenghou was jumping in. As such, I planned to stab him with cutlery. That was awesome =D. Haha.

This is Wei Qiang. He is in a random pose. He asked me to take a picture of him in a random pose. He and I decided to place it up here. So here he is, Wei Qiang! Haha!

Two random pics, for your enjoyment. Hah. Today was relatively fun. Played basketball at Kembangan today. Truly, the competition there is greater. After that went swimming till late, and ate supper. Lol. Loss at words, because such a fun day was spent simply. Awesome.

Look past the facade, and zoom onto the object in your mind.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
11:39 PM

She Was A Phantom of Delight

She was a Phantom of delight

When first she gleamed upon my sight;

A lovely Apparition, sent

To be a moment's ornament;

Her eyes as stars of Twilight fair;

Like Twilight's, too, her dusky hair;

But all things else about her drawn

From May-time and the cheerful dawn;

A dancing Shape, an Image gay,

To haunt, to startle, and way-lay.

I saw her upon nearer view,

A Spirit, yet a Woman too!

Her household motions light and free,

And steps of virgin-liberty;

A countenance in which did meet

Sweet records, promises as sweet;

A Creature not too bright or good

For human nature's daily food;

For transient sorrows, simple wiles,

Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears, and smiles.

And now I see with eye serene

The very pulse of the machine;

A Being breathing thoughtful breath,

A Traveller between life and death;

The reason firm, the temperate will,

Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;

A perfect Woman, nobly planned,

To warn, to comfort, and command;

And yet a Spirit still, and bright

With something of angelic light.

~William Wordsworth

A poem from Ivan. It's been ringing in my head awhile. Lol. Something to ponder about, the wonder of english =)

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
12:35 AM

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Another case of coming so close yet so far away. God has healed me of this fever within a day. Yesterday it reached a grand high of 39degrees, today I feel alot better, almost 100%! Praise him! My mum still isnt convinced, and won't let me go to the lifechanger camp. I'm still holding out a small flicker of hope tho, tho I know she won't change her mind ==". What does it mean? God healed me of my sickness, but my mum won't let me go?

It just reminds me of how my whole life has been. Case after case of near hits and close misses.

Keep a positive outlook Keith. It's what makes your life better. He has something better in store for you. On the bright side, I caught up on alot of revision, and read like half of The Acts. Tml's the ICA for Sports & Wellness. Press on!

EDIT: My mum just took my passport and malaysian ringgit back. There goes that last flicker of hope.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
7:54 PM

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

I woke up this morning with a fever. I thought that I could fight it throught the day, but my mum stopped me. As such, I am now at home, unable to go to the Lifechanger Camp.

Damnit. After looking forward to it so much, it seems likely that it was to be taken away from me. Right now, I only hope that I can recover fast enough such that I can go to the camp for ONE NIGHT. That would be good enough.

I was really angry at first. God knew I was looking forward to it, and that's why I can't go. I have to understand that everything happens is because of His will and His wondrous plan. Everything happens because of his great plan. So I have to trust him, trust him with all my heart all my faith, that this happened to me, because God has something greater stored for me. I have to have faith in Jesus.

And believe in Him I will.

After thinking up of all that and writing it down here, I feel better. Not completely better, but my heart feels lighter.

John 3:27

... A man can receive nothing unless it has been given to Him from Heaven.

Everything we receive is from God, and it is His will that we are blessed with things. And His will never fails.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:51 PM

Saturday, June 06, 2009

This was taken last year, about a month before O levels? Funny how during times so stressful and busy is times where those brief moments of freedom feels so unbothered, so worriless. Truly, as the weeks became days, as the days inched ever so closely to the first exams, where brief moments became tiny speckles, so light-hearted, so unanxious do we feel. We enjoyed what we hardly got, to the maximum. I think this picture shows that. I enjoyed those carefree moments immensely. I treasure it in my heart, every moment, every speckle of it. Indeed, the days of our youth are days we can never take back, where every joy and every regret becomes but a dot in the course of our lives. And yet again, they are so significant to us that we look back every now and again, wanting to live back those days that mattered so greatly. How paradoxical that the days of our youth are days which are but a dot and a huge part of our lives.

Maybe that's why I have the heart of a child but the mental, realistic attitude of an adult. I don't ever want to let go of those days, and forever, I want to live everyday like I'm still a youth. That way, every day becomes truly happy.

Until today, I didnt realize I was so stressed. And what exactly was I stressed about? Something that's completely not on my priorities list. That is to say, the list of things that matter to me the most, God, Friends and Family, Studies, basketball. So why am I stressed over something that's supposedly not so important to me? I have no idea. Maybe it's a subconscious message to myself telling me that," Hey, maybe it does matter to you. Maybe you should care about it." So if people reading this still dont get what I'm saying, yeah I'm STRESSED.

I went to service today. After service, I started thinking as I walked towards 108. That's when I indirectly realized my stress, because I kept fretting over it. I had planned to just go 108 and watch people play. I was hesitant wheter or not i should play matches, just shoot hoops, or go home. Ultimately, I decided to play matches, to just lose my mind into the game and focus and have fun. Of course, that worked. But it's not until I just joked around shooting hoops with my friends did I really just lose my mind and destressed. We played around the court like children.
Such as forming a new rebounding tactic, which is simply just jumping onto each other's shoulders. More simply, we just jumped on each other. And the way to box out. Lol. Spinspinspinspinspinspin. It reminded me of why I love basketball. We can just get lost in each other's worlds, and let our imaginations take flight.

I realize that maybe, that's the way that life should be. Living it by the moment. Take life moment by moment, and when the moment's gone, forget it! Move on to the next moment, there'd be more. You will have your chances keith. Though you may feel as pathetic as pathetic now, that won't last long. Nothing lasts long in this earthly world. But in the spiritual world, all things are eternal. So I'm going to hold on tight to God's love. With God, I'm never alone.

I learnt a lil' something in today's service. To sum it up, a portion of it was to love yourself. If you don't love yourself, how can you love others? If you love yourself to an extent, you are already beautiful. If you love yourself, you'd hate it if you did something bad or have a certain blemish. You'd do something about it. You wouldn't be lazy. I always thought I loved myself alot, to an extent that I am not vain. I don't care about strangers' opinions of me, simply because I dont care. I love being myself. But I'm lazy. Even though I take proper care of my body and mind, such as doing sports and studying hard, I am lazy. I don't take care of my face, leaving me with oddly shaped pimples on uncommon places. I am a very smart kid, not to brag, but all my teacher say I'm complacent. I don't work hard enough such that people see that I'm smart, I work just enough to prove to myself that I can do it if I tried, but I hardly try hard enough. I slack in trainings because I always think that there is a better way to train and I should think of how to do it. I can be a whole lot better person if I stop being lazy and love myself more. To put it in biblical terms, God so loved the world that he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to die for us on the cross. God loves us so much, that he sent his one and only son to die for us, and Jesus Christ too, loves us so much that he died for us, so that we may live free of sin. They love and value our lives so MUCH. Surely, we can love ourselves in that very same way? I'm pretty sure we can.

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. Marianne Williamson

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day."~ Alexander Woollcott

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me?If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?" ~ Rabbi Hillel

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
11:17 PM

Friday, June 05, 2009

" I may not be there yet, but I'm closer than I was yesterday. "~ Unknown Author

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
8:36 PM