B B A L L B O Y .

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Chinese Os were okay i guess. Passable. Hopefully I'll be able to get a B? I do NOT want to retake it ==". I answered part 1 of P1 completely wrong, but hopefully I'll get a couple of marks for it?

Today was okay I guess. Holidays lessons should just be lessons, since it still takes up that much time ==". But eh, what can we do, Os are coming =p. Hopefully my mindset will get started to actually start my revision now. Right now? Watching movie listening to tunes =p. And, I just woke up from a nap. I'm just awesome.

Trying to fill this post up with pictures. Nothing much to say. Or lazy to say, apparently.

Ever notice that when someone says,"I'm not trying to [insert action] here, I'm just trying to [insert less offensive action but probably still just as offensive to other people here] ", they actually doing a tremendous job of it. Like when my tuition teacher told the sec3s that came for remedial " I'm not trying to terrorize you all or anything, but what you're learning now is very easy compared to what the sec4s are learning." I then thought to myself,"But you sure are doing a tremendous job of it =="." So that's gonna be my response to people "who aren't trying to this but are actually doing it, despite the intentions". Lol =p

Basketball competition this saturday =p. Wish me luck everyone! Please? haha =p.

It is hard to be brave when you're only a very small animal [Piglet]

I can't believe I just made a piglet reference.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
6:04 PM

Friday, May 23, 2008

Today was... dramatic. I thought everything was going great, only to have my hopes and expectations of myself shrivel to nothingness.

I won't elaborate on all the good things that happened. Probably wouldn't matter anyway. Volleyball happened. It's probably the only sport that I hate and love at the same time ==" . I messed alot of shit up. Shit that I didn't even know I made. But nevertheless, if the coach said I made a mistake, it means I made a mistake. So I got punished. It's not the punishment that fazed me, it's what i did. A stupid mistake. A mistake which I would never have committed if I didnt slack. I was an old boy. To be punished hurt my pride. Even trying to cool my head down to finish the punishment was hard.

What hurt me the most was at the end of the training. Simply put, coach said that the turning point person in our team was the setter, because compared to the last year's setter, this year was dependable. I was the last year's setter. He even elaborated on it. Without so much as a acknowledgement at me though everyone there knew who he was talking about. That hurt. I don't expect to be the best player to be praised, but neither do I expect to be targeted. He didnt even bat an eye when he said that. And all I could do was put on a smile and laugh at his jokes. I hate putting on a facade.

When I got home, my mom, she talked to me about my Os. She's afraid I might fail, and told me to be ready for it, picky myself up, and don't cry. I actually wanted to blow up on the spot, but i kept it in. She has good intentions. What she has said did wonders to my confidence.

With so much caving in on me, it's only natural that I get up after every time I fall. It's just getting harder to keep from falling, and even harder to stand up again, after discovering no one's close to give a hand.

In acute suffering the need for meaning is as strong or stronger than the need for happiness. [Peter Berger]

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
10:23 PM

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

NE Journey today. Was pretty much awesome i guess? I played PSP all the time on the bus rides. NBA live 08. Lol, forgot to pause, in the end when I came back onto the bus the computer was leading 84 - 34 ==". Haha.

Went to toa payoh hub first. Pretty much some general humanities stuff? The food there, was 'orrible. Minced meat noodle was like eating minced flour meat flour. Tasteless. Went to Mac to takeaway apple pies, got back just in time lol. Wen Yang made this joke about how Richard couldn't afford apple pies " See, we eat apple pie, he eat ice cream." LOL, I laughed my ass off. "See how he lick the ice cream? Like DOG." Seriously, each and everyday he does something to make me hate him even more than usual ==". My hate is like, close to times infinity already. Argh. Nevermind that. Let's just say, one day the assholes of the world would gather, create a 15ft statue of richard, and desecrate it as such. Make it a prime targetfor bird poop. hey, in the wee hours of the night I may even use it as a personal urinal. Hopefully the assholes of the world would build his mouth open.

Went to URA, saw this huge scale diagram of Singapore. Haha, I saw Bugis Junction, then followed the road to my house. Lol. Er... Went to Marina flyer next? Pretty much nothing interesting mentioned besides the F1 racing? Lol.

Went to volleyball training afterwards. was tough lol. I weakened alot ==. My jumping became lower ==". And I just realized I don't have the stamina for jumping, so that has got to be improved on. I didn't set good today cause my left hand had tinges of pain here and there ==". Hopefully would be gone tml. I wanna play in thailand, so I gotta train hard.

Next week chinese Os, and here I am blogging. Makes me realize how little time we have left. Not till Os, till we graduate as a class. Richard or not, though he has been the very bane of my existance, this class gave me some pretty happy times. Me and the guys (not richard. He's an asshole) hung out alot during curriculum time, totally crapping about random stuff usually ending in a very hilarious conclusion, one that might even hang around for weeks. For instance, the song Stacey's Mom that we sometimes break into song about. Man. And time really does fly way too fast this year. Guess we were all having more and more fun as the years pass ==". I would terribly miss the times I had these four years, both good and bad, as they enabled me to grow into the person I am today. All the pranks and jokes, all the smiles and laughter, all are a cornerstone of my life. Without them, life is totally meaningless. I guess my life basically revolces around those certain aspects. In any case. Enjoy the time now, as we all know, cause we ain't getting it back, and life's too short to be miserable, so may as well hitch a ride and enjoy life.

Enjoy the time left and all this fun

Because the end will soon come for this run.

Don't be angry and or sad

The times we all spent were really rad =).

Keith wong.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:04 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Today was okay I supposed. I hardly did any studying. I'm supposed to be stressed over chinese Os, but I'm not. Argh. I'm reading hao zuo wen everyday. Hope it helps. Unless someone can give me some tips on how to improve my chinese? Every little bit helps =).

I played basketball from morning till night. Body aches, not that exhausted, but tired enough to just fall onto my bed and dream away. Going cell tml =p. They're playing soccer =p. Again, blah blah immense hatred for soccer blah blah. But eh. I'm just gonna run around and pretend I'm doing sprints. Have to study chinese, and more chinese, even though it's my bio I'm worried about. And shit. My Amaths tuition taught us integration last week, but it seems I've forgotten it. Lol. Stressed up now at this moment =p. Haha. but too lazy to do anything about it, for now =p. Btw, does anyone know whether the sakae sushi all you can eat sushi student buffet is available on monday? A public holiday? I need to know =P.

Argh competition end of the month. Basketball. Right now I'm just typing whatever comes to my head, and see the madness that ensues. or, check out my vocabulary when I'm not thinking straight. So one can say I'm typing gobbledygook =p. Haha =p.

I'm hungry. Wanna eat chicken rice.

Lol, some parts of many songs.
I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world...! Life in plastic. It's fantastic! You can brush my hair, and take me everywhere..! Imagaination, life is your creation! LOL. FORGET I SAID THAT.

I say a little prayer for yoouuu... Forever! Forever! I'll give you my heart, and I'll love you, forever, and ever, we'll never break up! Something something something. Together! Together! That's how it must be, to live WITHout you, would only mean heartbreak for me... Forgot. Lol.

Open up your eyes take a look at me, get the picture fixed in your memory. I've been dreaming like the rhythm of a beat of a heart. And I won't stop until I start to stand out. It's not a question of "if", just a matter of time, before I move to the front of the line! YOU WATCHIN' EVERY MOVE THAT I MAKE. YOU GOTTA BELIEVE THAT I GOT WHAT IT TA-EYEA-KES!
Stand out! Above the crowd! Even if I gotta shout out loud! Till mine is the only face you'll see, gonna staaaaaAAAAAAND OUT! Till you notice me.

You are the ga-url, of my dreams. Of my heart. I believe. You are the ga-url, of my dreams. Baby. Of my dreams. All alone.. In ma-ee room.. Wishin' that you were here. Without you, in my arms, I'm holding back all my tears. Without you, in my life, I'll never be satisfied... Sometimes. I feel. I could've been better to you... All I want. Is a chance. To prove that my love is true.. Baby let's go back in time, till when our hearts still shined, and I could hold you ti-ight, in my dreams at niiiiiiiiiiight. "Girl of my dreams" by The Moffats. Lol =p.

Just be yourself, cuz that's what makes you one in a million, and you're that one in a million girl, for me. And I wish that you could just open up your eyes, and see that you're special, in a way that makes you... That one in a million girl. LOL. Okay, this one I made up.

These are just those few songs that still speak out to me. I dunno. They're just special.

Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall not be disappointed.

I expected everything to go well. Guess what? I was disappointed.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
10:15 PM

Friday, May 16, 2008

Man, my mom's not gonna use my father's design for the house ==". Too expensive. On a side note, my mom ca be a real JERKFACE sometimes. Argh. Argued with her. Feeling horrible about it now. Can't believe I let out my steam on her. We argued over money and my grades. Nuff' said.

I will study hard. I can't fail the expectations set of me, or worse the expectations that I set for myself. I will not falter. I will succeed.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
10:31 PM

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Got my results back. Didnt do well at all. In fact, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I DID HORRIBLE.

I'll remember this taste. This taste of failure, of complete defeat. I studied hard, gave 100% and sacrificed something precious of mine, and still failed. Total annihilation. I'm going to use this taste to strive onwards, to be the smartest that I can be, just so that I will never taste this taste ever again. And after it all, I will stand out. Above the crowd. Even If I gotta shout out loud, till mine is the only face everyone'll see. During the Olevel results announcement.

Gonna Stand Out, 'till you notice me.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
10:31 PM

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Got back some exam feedback. I failed Emaths, chinese, bio, and a borderline pass combined science. It doesn't take a master in any of these subjects to tell I'm really upset over it. I mean, man. I really worked my butt off for all these tests, and I failed?! I don't know whether I can work harder than that. I already sacrificed my beloved sleeping time and gave 100% for it. And I failed. What, then selling my soul will get me a B3. Geezuz.

I have to study everyday now. Here I was thinking I can slack a little bit now. I don't ever want to experience the pain of seeing failed subjects with my name on it. The blow would be too much. I wanna be no1. I wanna stand out above this crowd. I will pull my grades up. I will be no1 in the school, or to a smaller extent, my class. I don't ever want to be at the bottom of the bucket. It stinks too much. I will study until I suffer. I will get into my JC of choice, and enjoy this life from this route i chose, stretching my wings and soaring to my highest potential. And, I'll do it on my own. Because I'm the only one I have.

Stand Out by Tevin Campbell

Open up your eyes take a look at me

If the picture fits in your memory

I've been dreamin by the rythym like the beat of a heart

And i won't stop

until I start to stand out

Some people settle for the typical thing

Livin' all their lives waitin' in the wings

It ain't a question of 'if',

just a matter of time

Before I move to the front of the line

And once you're watchin' ev'ry move that I make

Ya gotta believe that I got what it takes

(Chorus)

To stand out

Above the crowd

Even if I gotta shout out loud

'Til mine is the only face you see

Gonna stand out

'til you notice me

If the squeaky wheels always gettin the greese

I'm totally devoted to disturbin the peace

And I'll do it all again, when I get it done

Until I become your number one

No method to the madness and means of escape

Gonna break every rule I'll bend them all out of shape

It ain't a question of 'how' just a matter of when

You get the message that I'm tryin to send

I'm under a spell, I'm in over my head

And you know I'm going all of the way, till the end

yeah

If I could make you stop and take a look at me instead of just (Walkin' by)

There's nothin' that I wouldn't do

If it was gettin' you to notice (I'm alive)

All I need is half a chance, a second thought, a second glance'll prove

I got whatever it takes

It's a piece of cake

To stand out

Above the crowd

Even if I gotta shout out loud

'Til mine is the only face you see

Gonna stand out

Stand out, hey

Stand out!(Yeah, yeah, yeah!)

Stand out!(Hmph!)

'Til mine's the only face you see

Gonna stand out

'Til you notice me

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
4:59 PM

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The storm has cleared. The dust has settled. People go back to their respective schedules, or go on to new ones. I broke my 2day 1blog post routine. LOL. The exams? My dear child, they are OVER. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Okay. That felt good. I fell asleep during Listening compre, so I bombed. Bio was simple I guess. Spent the rest of the day playing basketball. Oh, and I hurt the whole of my left arm. I think my elbow is swollen. It hurts to straigten it. Hopefully it'll heal asap, and that more playing of basketball won't aggravate it. Lol. Pray for me =p. I need it to heal 100% for the thailand trip in june =D. Haha.

Some personal thoughts and ranting. All the songs in my phone seems meaningless now. Fun fact: over 90% of songs in the whole world are love songs. Ayup. And guess what genre of music holds a monopoly in my handphone? Yup. I guess, since I gave up on love, the feelings, the thoughts, the words they're transmitting through the songs, are meaningless to me because they are of love. Now, whenever I listen to a love song, I feel nothing. If not, total monotony. I guess when I gave up on love, I gave up on feeling music, on strong feelings. I stopped feeling happy listening to music, stopped feeling any emotion at all. Upon deeper probing, I realized all feelings are related to love. Happiness is a strong feeling of love, either loving to do something/someone, or being loved. Sadness is a sort of negative love. Anger, anti-love. Am I right? I'm too busy to state all manners of feelings, but yeah, at least i think they're all related. Curiosity? Anxiety? All those other sorts of feelings can be related to love, in a way that love is the reason. Since I gave up on love, I couldn't care less about these feelings, and as a result, brought on dullness and monotony in life.

How depressing it be when one comes upon the realization that there's no one he can turn to. No safe haven he can go to. No one to depend on, but his own strength to stand strong and face life with a confident smile. Does no one ever wonder what lies beneath that mask of confidence and happiness? I'll tell you what. Or who rather. Someone who craves for someone he can just lean on. No questions asked. Someone who'll hang out with him for who he is, so that he wouldn't have a need to put up such a strong front. How ironic is it that the person who puts up such a strong front is someone so weak inside.

I hate love. It gave me nothing but trouble these few years. Little things kept me in believing that life was fair, love being one of them. I don't want to believe in love anymore. It sucks. Nothing short of divine intervention will make me believe otherwise.

Life without love is a mistake. A mistake I'm willing to pay, rather than adhering to the consequences love has, and totalling ignoring the "benefits".

Keith Wong.

I'm just gonna aspire to be a loner. Or better yet, a hermit. Look at previous posts a many to see what I mean. Living in a HDB flat all alone, with my comics and manga by my side.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:30 PM

Monday, May 12, 2008

Okay, it's confirmed. I'm moving to Toa Payoh.

Went there yesterday with my family to check out the place. I'm sharing my room with my elder bro. Yes! I get to have my computer in my room! My brother's computer would be put in the living room, cause he sleeps late ==". haha. And, my younger brother would be getting a computer of his own, so LOL. 3coms. It's obviously not as big as my current home, but it's cosy =). Should be moving at around 3rd July? Would be great. I wanna get a bicycle so I can ride around the neighbourhood. Looks interesting. My home would be opposite Dirst toa payoh secondary school =p. Hopefully there'd be a basketball court nearby.

Should've studied more for Chem today I guess. It was really, really simple. I accidentally took a nap in between like half the paper? It took me 10minutes to finish the rest =). Lol =p. Bio and Chinese listening compre tml. G'luck to everyone who's taking it =p!

On a side note, ever tried saying G'luck really fast? It sounds like gluk lol. Gluk everyone! Haha.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, While loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu

I love myself for being who I am, for taking "the path less taken, the less beaten path, yadda yadda'. I have but only the strength to stand on my own. What leads me on, blind strength, reckless courage at doing things in wanting to be loved, and in the process, to love.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
3:08 PM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Lol. 5th consecutive post after a 2day gap =p. By this theory, expect another post on monday? Haha.

"I'm just sick of it. Sick of how it makes me feel like a druggie attempting rehab. I'ma hide under a rock now. I'ma live a hermit life."

Me.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
11:00 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Lol. I just noticed the last 3 posts were two days each from 02may. check it out.

Man I just dont get life. I'm not sad or anything, but I just dont understand the principles and logic of life. Take love for example. What logic is," if you love it, set it free. If it loves you, it will come back." Why set it free in the first place if you love it? What, to test whether it loves you? Wow. I didnt know that love needs to be tested.I think love is just one of the many confusing truths about life.

A friend asked me a question today. "When you're on your deathbed, who do you think will be by your side? Will you have accomplished anything meaningful?" Which I then replied " Something is very wrong you're thinking about your own life now, looking back upon it, when you're only 16 years old." But he has a point there. What would I have accomplished? Who would be by my deathbed? Those two? I dont really care whether I "succeed" in life or not. To me, success is about living my life, MY way, without any doubts about whether how I'm living is wrong or not. Press onwards in life, living it up. Living the life that we were all given, not accomplishing goal after goal after goal. To me, that's what life is about. The journey, not the destination. All of us have the same destination anyway. Some of our paths may interwine, some may never meet again after seperating. But that doesn't matter. We're all gonna meet up again someday. So, live it up, enjoy the ride. Accomplishing goals is just a plus. At the end of my life, I'm sure I would have accomplished my fair share of goals, maybe even more. But what will matter to me at the end of my life, is all the decisions i chose which led up to it, whether it was regrettable or not. Better to do it and regret it than to regret not doing it.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. [Jayaram]

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
8:56 PM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Man. These last two days were killer. Slept at 3am for both days. Just woke up from a well deserved nap. Fortunately, there's only one paper tml, Emaths. Received the Thailand itinerary today. All hyped up about it =). Man, I love volleyball. Maybe it's cause I realized though I love to play basketball more than volleyball, I can only train volleyball at school =P. I should have treasured it more. Afterall, it gave me the best four years of my life =).

Biology today was gay. Not difficult, just gay. I studied all the big stuff I thought would come out, how the heart works etc etc, and you what? Here's an analogy. It's like going to Las Vegas, and kept on betting big. Then you take a look beside you. That guy keeps betting small, and kept winning, so his small earnings per game totalled alot. That was how Bio was like. I studied all the big stuff, and all the small fry came out. SMALL FRY WHICH I DID NOT STUDY!! Argh. Oh well, what's done is done.

I should be going off now. Studying Emaths, physics and chem =p.

Regret for the past is a waste of spirit. [NYPD Blue]

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
8:27 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

GO! It's not the end. Leave the past in the past, run past it, dont look back. It's never gonna run after you. So keep running forward, ignore what lies behind you.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
1:43 AM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

I just feel like saying this and putting this here. Think what you may about it.

I saw my ex today. She dressed quite beautifully I guess. Cute, one might say. Why am I saying this? She never dressed that way whenever we went out. I mean, not every single time, obviously. The thing is, she never dressed like that when we went out. Not even once. Shallow? Whatever. That's just one reason we broke up, which is part of a bigger reason. Which was? Me being insensitive. She didn't say this. I admit this. I was insensitive to her feelings, while all the time only caring about my own. And because of that, I hurt her, made her cry. One thing I absolutely hate to see or hear, is a girl crying. Even worse if I'm the reason.

Gawd. It's exam time and I'm thinking about stuff like this. Which is why I stand by my statement which I made a couple of posts back but i took it off =p. I detest love ==". The stupid feelings you feel, those stupid depressing feelings of never ever being with her. Who am I to even imagine ending up with someone who can stand me for the rest of this life? Love, is very much like a drug. When you have it and take it, the feelings of ecstacy is great and all, but it takes its toll on your body and mind. When you try to "break the habit", you'll have withdrawal symptons. Temptations of falling in love again beckons, the bittersweet emotions of falling in love, those wonderful feelings. But once you have it and take it again, alas, the pain is unbearable. Argh. I think being a hermit would be suitable for me. I'll be living by myself in some HDB flat preferably near a green or purple line, me and my collection of manga and comics. Fantasizing about being someone of importance, of falling in love, of being a hero, of living the dream. And then I'll probably drift into slumber, dreaming of what could be. Waking up alone in that cold flat, eating fastfood before showering and just dressing up like Japan's Akihabara Tech Geek. Take that MRT line to the closest Kinkuniya or Comics Collection to pick up some new comics. Yup. That sounds like the life for me.

Hope is hearing the music of the future. Faith is dancing to it today.

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
11:22 PM

Friday, May 02, 2008

It has been awhile. I dont want to elaborate on the tests. What's done is done. MYE doesnt account for anything anyway. I did so and so for them. I read a couple of comic books. Superheroes and what not. I read them, and they're like my source of inspiration now. I especially like spiderman. Superman, captain america, they're much to heroic. Spiderman actually hits quite close to home. Why? He's a human with superpowers. Ergo, he's one of the many modern superheroes nowadays that writers try to make human. True, they're SUPERHEROES, therefore they should be infallible. But, it makes them much too perfect, too magnificent. Superman, Captain America. True, the latter doesnt really have any superpowers, but his mindset is that of a hero.

I read a spiderman comic book today. There are many, many versions of the story, but pretty much revolves around the same beginning. What I like about this book that I read, was that it actually portrays his feelings for a loved one he lost, and it very much sounded like a blog. "Bad follows good." "Good follows bad." was how he described his life. Whenever he had something good happen to him, something equally horrible in terms of badness scale happens to him later on. Very much like a rollercoaster. One moment you're going up, the next you're going down.

It made me think, once I had finished the whole book. That always happens to me. Bad follows good, good follows bad. Which probably gave me this thick skin I have now, the mindset to brace myself for any unfortunate unhappennings, or not react too happily for something fortunate. Blessing, curse, I dont know. I think I'm turning into a comic book geek =). A welcomed change?

What if I had superpowers? Nevermind the fact of what powers, but how would I use it? Well, maybe to uphold my values and principles. Which would mean I would have the "with great power comes great responsibility" of Spiderman, the Uphold Justice attitude of Captain America, and maybe with my own personality. I believe in the good side =D. I always felt that having the power of teleportation would be nice, like the hero Nightcrawler of the X-men. That blue furry guy? Yeah, popping up here and there would be awesome. But then, I dont have that mental toughness nor that memory X_X. It takes up quite abit of Nightcrawlers energy to poof here and there, and he actually needs a mass amount of mental toughness and concentration to teleport. So I'm probably not suited for that power? Meh. Give me spiderman's power anyday.

Lol. COMIC BOOK GEEK! =DD. Nice to relax like this once in a while.

Maintaining the status quo is the same as regressing; while you are holding your own, others are passing you by. Be harsh on yourself. Do not ever think that you have made it; do not ever be staisfied by what you have done. Drive yourself for the rest of your life. If you do not move, you become paralyzed. Develop your potential to the fullest, for you, too, can wake the sleeping genius at will. [Kim Woo-Choong, Every Street Is Paved With Gold]

[Keith wrote this, thanks for reading! =D]Y,
9:40 PM